Picking the winners and losers of 2017 week 1 in the NFL.
NFL weekly picks: 2017, week 1
Are You Ready For Some Football? The Chaos of Week 1 in the NFL. Lots of changes around the league. Are we saved now that football season is finally kicking off? The answer is yes – in a lot of ways. I will stand. I will salute. The return of Bocephus!
Grab your foam fingers (except you, Miley), here we go:
Thursday Night Game:
Kansas City Chiefs at New England Patriots (-9.5)
The NFL Season Opener serves us up a classic nail-biter. The Chiefs are strong, but the Patriots are stronger – especially in Foxborough.
Patriots 21, Chiefs 20
Hurricane Irma and Tampa Bay Buccaneers at Miami Dolphins (CAT 5)
Mother nature dominates so strongly that both teams flee for safety, and live to fight another day.
Irma 1, NFL/Mankind 0
New York Jets (+9) at Buffalo Bills
Bills 20, Jets 14
Atlanta Falcons at Chicago Bears (+7)
I think the Falcons are still pissed. And the Bears are not ready.
Falcons 42, Bears 22
Baltimore Ravens at Cincinnati Bengals (-3)
A close and ugly game. Joe Mixon beats expectations and runs for over 100 yards.
Bengals 24, Ravens 20
Pittsburgh Steelers (-9.5) at Cleveland Browns
Steelers have a talent and experience surplus. The Browns have a lot of youth and raw talent. We know what wins here.
Steelers 35, Browns 17
Arizona Cardinals (-1.5) at Detroit Lions
Remember when Arizona came out flat last year and stayed flat? I do too. Carson Palmer’s arm falls off.
Lions 34, Cardinals 14
Jacksonville Jaguars at Houston Texans (-6)
The Houston Flood extinguishes the Jacksonville Dumpster Fire.
Texans 31, Jaguars 21
Oakland Raiders (+1.5) at Tennessee Titans
A tough and close game. Oakland should take this one, but they are not polished enough yet on defense. The Titans pound out a win.
Titans 28, Raiders 27
Philadelphia Eagles at Washington Redskins (+1)
In this NFC East slugfest, the Eagles come out strong to start the season once again. Redskins drama persists.
Eagles 24, Redskins 21
Indianapolis Colts (+4) at Los Angeles Rams
No Luck for the Colts in week one. Goff gets a win. Sammy Watkins hurts his foot again.
Rams 28, Colts 10
Seattle Seahawks at Green Bay Packers (-3)
The Seahawks show off their upgraded defensive line by mashing the Packers. Aaron Rodgers’ mustache gets its own endorsement deal. By week nine Rodgers will join ZZ Top.
Seahawks 35, Packers 27
Carolina Panthers at San Francisco 49ers (+6)
Kyle Shanahan might be a good offensive coach, but the players play the game. Carolina shows what a talented roster can do to the undermanned.
Panthers 31, 49ers 17
New York Giants (+3.5) at Dallas Cowboys
The Giants beat the Cowboys twice last year, and the ‘Boys haven’t forgotten that. Ezekiel Elliot gets to play this game before his suspension – and he’ll be looking to lay down strong dibs on that starting job.
Cowboys 31, Giants 28
Monday Night Games:
ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALL??!? BOCEPHUS IS BACK!
New Orleans Saints at Minnesota Vikings (-3)
The Saints roll into the Purple Stadium and roll out with a “W”. Adrian ‘All Day’ Peterson runs for 150 yards.
Saints 26, Vikings 20
Los Angeles Chargers at Denver Broncos (-3.5)
Philip Rivers puts on a show of how to beat Denver at Denver (like he has many times before). Keenan Allen makes some plays, Antonio Gates gets two touchdowns. Broncos Defense scores two touchdowns as well. John Elway wishes he’d actually brought in a better quarterback rather than standing pat.
Chargers 31, Broncos 24