So where does a business spend their marketing dollar to get the best ROI?

Increasing their visibility for WHAT they do in search rankings at the World’s leading search engines.

This doesn’t mean trying to employ some strategy to trick Google, Yahoo! or Bing into putting their listing at the top. That will not work. Even worse, if it did work – it will only be for a matter of hours or a couple of days before the algorithm update – which will relegate the cheating strategy site to search oblivion.

Just two days ago I met a potential client who was imagining a strategy of using a lot of little sites in an effort to dominate Google’s rankings! I couldn’t believe that someone had suggested this to them! I wasted no time telling them to ABSOLUTELY AVOID any such strategy.

They were aghast at the news.

Which brings me to the topic of educating business owners about organic search engine optimization. A good portion of delivering quality SEO is educating the client on the right approach – and mindset of the approach – as well as working to ‘undo’ or delete whatever bad SEO strategies that have affected their rankings negatively.

It is amazing how many people don’t understand that they will be penalized for deceptive, shady strategies and/or duplicate content/duplicate listings.

Another common hurdle is trying to educate the business owner who wants to be ranked number one for their town, plus all other surrounding towns and areas in organic rankings. This simply does not work.

Here’s why:

• The best search engines provide the best quality of search results.
• Quality of search results depends on three things:
  1. accuracy,
  2. relevance,
  3. value.

So here’s the deal – here’s how to get and keep the best possible organic search rankings for your business:

1. Accurately represent your business on the web,
2. Provide value for site visitors.

Yes it is a good idea to be social and use social media to connect with people. Making your business accessible through the latest social media platforms says a few things about your business, namely that A) you are a vibrant and relevant business, and B) you are open to connecting with consumers on the Internet.

Having a well-defined presence at Google+, LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc. also helps establish the accuracy and relevance of your company’s brand.

What are some good guidelines to use when discerning the good strategies from the bad?

1. Always strive for accuracy . . be WHO YOU ARE, and WHERE YOU ARE.
2. Adopt the point of view of a search engine and then reflect on that before getting excited about some ‘special strategy’ that someone told you about.

RE: #2 above . . .

Yes, you need to look at things from Google’s point of view. Consider that Google is working every day to sift through a gargantuan amount of information from innumerable sites that is growing every day. In order to be THE BEST search engine in the World, Google has to sort through this mass and deliver the most accurate, relevant results that have the most value for their search engine users. So how does Google do this? Many ways, including:

1. Continually updating the value of a complex, top-secret algorithm that ranks all web sites/pages/content to determine and deliver the highest-quality search results.
2. Continually tweak methods for identifying ‘webspam’ and removing the offending webspam publishers from the indexes of their datacenters.
3. Continually update the datacenters with fresh, relevant content that is being delivered ’round the clock’ by billions of spider bots that crawl and index the information available on the World’s servers.

In addition to those efforts, new efforts are being made by the Big Three (Google, Yahoo! and Bing) to improve the formatting of the web by integrating semantics through use of microdata and mutually agreed-upon protocols as in http://www.schema.org (see my blog post on The Semantic Web), which will dramatically increase the overall accuracy of information on the internet.

Quality SEO is not rocket science – but more common sense. With Google, you are either part of the problem or part of the solution.

My advice?

Be part of the solution.

The job of a quality organic search engine optimization consultant is to:

1. Quantify your company as it applies to search,
2. Define the parameters of your company and how they should be represented online,
3. Research whatever current presence your company already has online (which you may or may not be aware of) – and remove any negative elements,
4. Assess the needs of your company’s Internet presence – including social media outlets, and necessary site elements,
5. Develop a plan to showcase your company in the most accurate light and most accessible fashion,
6. Implement this initial plan for your company’s Internet presence, and
7. Work with you on a plan to remain vibrant and relevant to the online community (which may include social media, adwords campaigns, email marketing and blogging).

Q. Can you do these things for yourself?

A. Yes. In fact, an effective and winning strategy will most likely require your participation.

Q. Should you hire a professional SEO consultant to make sure that your company is optimally presented on the Internet?

A. ONLY if market-share is important to the success of your company, and the success of your company is important to you.

In 2012 – and the future – how important is the Internet to the success of your company and to garnering a respectable amount of market-share?

• Consider that 2012 is the year when overall ad spend for digital marketing (Internet) eclipses the amount spent on television advertising and print advertising.
• Consider that hiring a reputable SEO professional that can show you recent examples of their SEO results, and comes highly recommended is as important as choosing the right doctor, dentist or surgeon.

The doctor is in! We look forward to helping your company have success online. Please call 913-271-2955 or contact joe@joewooldridge.com for a free consultation and quote.

First, I’ll give you the straightforward ‘guts’ of something new that I tried, how it worked and how much it saved me on a doctor’s visit – then I’ll give an overview of the concept and company as I see it.

1. I joined HCCR, then went to my most recent doctor’s appointment (and it was my primary care physician) and saved a significant amount of money (over $70 from the “deal” I thought I was getting) on my visit.
2. When I arrived for the appt at my doctor’s office in Olathe, I showed the receptionist my HCCR member card and they were glad to see me – and glad to see that I was an HCCR member (more on this later).
3. I was seen by my doctor and received excellent service.
4. As I was paying for my visit on the way out – the office clerk noted that I am an  HCCR member and gave me their ‘lowest cost’ rate (which was lower than medicare or medicaid – or any rate that would be charged to an insurance company). I saved over seventy bucks on the spot. YES!

How cool is that?!!

So, of course, with any new ‘idea’ that comes along the mind wonders “really? how can this be? why would they want to give me this ‘lowest cost’ rate?”

Its really not rocket science – in fact its not even insurance! Doctors and dentists have an expensive headache on their hands every time they have to deal with an insurance company to get paid. There are a myriad of costly and time-consuming games/hassles that insurance companies utilize to try to keep from paying healthcare providers:

• delays (four months? eight months?),
• push-backs (“this isn’t covered”),
• charge-backs (“we changed our mind about whether this is covered”)
• extensive paperwork and processing

By the time a doctor/dentists gets paid through the insurance company – through the delays and extended processing expenses – they realize a substantial reduction of their compensation.

In other words, they make MORE MONEY if they just have a patient uses HCCR and pays cash on the spot. Makes sense.

Still don’t believe it? Well, then how about a 100% satisfaction guarantee? Heck, what if you could try it for FREE for six months? Well, Go Ahead – try out HCCR for free for six months. NO COST.

1. Go to http://www.healthcarecostrevolution.org/new-join-now
2. Use coupon code “MYJOE” and get 6 months for free.

Signing up was easy and it didn’t require any financial information. You’ll get an email confirmation with your access code, and your HCCR member card will arrive in the mail within a day or two.

MY EXPERIENCE: I took a moment and went to their website and signed up for a membership with HCCR (Healthcare Cost Revolution). The next day I received my membership card in the mail. From there I was able to login at the website and check out the list of providers (over 60 local quality, board certified doctors that can treat virtually anything that might be wrong with a person, and dentists with over 20 years of experienced) and a list of local pharmacies where I would received very healthy discount prices on all medications.

What I really liked was seeing my primary care physician – who I have been using for over 12 years – on the list. Very cool.

MY ADVICE: Try it out. It is worthwhile. How many new things come along and actually save you money on quality healthcare?

This program is a “must” for anyone not covered by health insurance, and it’s also a perfect fit for H.S.A. users and those with high deductibles.  With the HCCR membership a patient can get their needed and/or uncovered care at the lowest possible prices.  H.S.A. users simply pay for the service with their H.S.A. card and the cost applies to the deductible.  Those with high-deductible (catastrophic) policies can use the membership to keep costs to a minimum for all uncovered, (prior to the deductible being reached) care.  This could save someone usually at least 50% on all their uncovered healthcare bills prior to the deductible being reached. HUGE!

Ideas are powerful things. When a new idea is ready and it is brought forth – then LOOK OUT! To quote Victor Hugo “An invasion of armies can be resisted; an invasion of ideas cannot be resisted.” See full quote here.

I’m confident you will be impressed with your experience – and you will love saving money at the doctor, the dentist and the pharmacy. Additionally, HCCR is a locally-owned Kansas City area company – so you’ll also be shopping local!

Enjoy.

P.S. Their site says “Disponible en español,” . . . so I believe they service spanish-speaking people as well.

Why?

Well, to be better, My Dear Watson. More specifically, make your website and product/company better.

Part of that improvement lies in helping to measure traditional advertising campaigns and to hone your digital marketing campaigns for optimum effectiveness.

*business research and market research*

By properly implementing Web Analytics you will have access to valuable info:

• # of visitors
• # of page views
• # length of visit
• # traffic flow
• # most popular links
• # geo location of visitors

Off-Site versus On-Site Web Analytics.

Off-Site Analytics measures potential audience (I.e. your site’s opportunity, visibility and ‘buzz’) on the Internet overall (and Off-Site Analytics is not today’s main topical focus).

Effective Use of On-Site Analytics

On-Site Analytics track and measure the site visitor’s journey from the moment they reach your website. With On-Site Analytics, you can see what works – and how well (measure ‘drivers’ and ‘conversions’);

1. Define what is important to your organization.
2. Set goals.
3. Develop a digital marketing strategy to achieve goals. *Note: unless your organization has an endless supply of money, you will want to measure the Return On Investment (ROI) from investing in the following digital marketing channels (I will address Digital Marketing ROI in another post):
   • Organic Search Engine Optimization,
   • Social Media,
   • Search Engine Marketing (Adwords),
   • Email campaigns,
   • Banner Ad placements,
   • Real World components to drive Internet traffic.
4. Implement On-Site Web Analytics:
   • Decide what you want to measure and how you want to measure it.
   • Configure Google Analytics (or other) to track all relevant assets (pages, files, pdfs, podcasts, videos, links, contact forms, etc.).
5. Start a digital marketing campaign(s) (I.e. Email blast, Adwords Ads, Banner Ads, Pop-Up Ads).
6. See what assets or landing pages are driving the sale – or phone call/email that leads to the sale.
7. Compare this info with key performance indicators (jargon for performance measurement).
8. Take the information gathered from your efforts, interpret it, adjust your organization’s digital marketing strategy accordingly.

How can your organization best apply On-Site Analytics? /UGLY BABY ALERT!/

Be prepared to learn that you have an ‘ugly baby’ for a website (and possibly an ‘ugly baby’ for a digital marketing campaign as well!). That’s okay. The whole idea here is to reach your organization’s goals. The improvement of certain aspects of your website and your digital marketing campaign will move your organization further along the path to reaching its defined goals.

Now that you have gathered Internet data on your digital marketing efforts:

1. Verify the accuracy of the data. (I.e. Compare your website’s data as shown through Google Analytics, to direct analysis of the raw server logs). What is it they say? Trust, but verify.
2. Ensure the validity of the reporting (ideally two reports; the first being a snapshot of data relevant to focus; the second being an overall site metrics. The combination of these two allows context and perspective).
3. Interpret the data.
4. LEARN from the data. (What worked? What did NOT work?)
5. Identify issues, roadblocks, challenges.
6. Adapt (improve strategy).
7. IMPROVISE/INNOVATE (improve, change, create or eliminate) your:
   1. tactics,
   2. functionality,
   3. products,
   4. services.
8. OVERCOME CHALLENGES. If you don’t fail, you can’t learn. Remember that every digital marketing campaign fails to a certain degree. Embrace the experience, dissect the elements that are lacking, and pay attention to what your audience is telling you.
9. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Evolution of Web Analytics.

The definition of Web Analytics and On-Site Analytics continues to evolve, and the methods and tools used for Web Analytics continually evolve. To ensure optimum accuracy and effectiveness, your organization needs a resource (person) to be continually integrating new techniques, tools and functionality of existing tools.

Dynamic Evolution: Digital marketing continues to evolve, as does traditional advertising, the mobile web, competing platforms, emerging technology, how people connect/share and overall consumer habits. Effectively utilizing Web Analytics to measure your organization’s performance will require insight, peripheral vision within your org’s industry, anticipation of future tech, recognition of emerging trends, impact assessment and adaptability. Change is the only constant.

Joe Wooldridge is a Digital Marketing Generalist, currently working on MyJoeCard.Com in Kansas City.

Ready to help manifest the future of web? Get ready for Web 3.0 – The Semantic Web

In web 3.0 you will need to build your site and web applications to deliver content in a semantic, organized format. We’re seeing this progress as Google, Bing and Yahoo! have embraced the microdata formats from schema.org.

This is the future of being found on the internet for what you do. It is time to build your site for web 3.0 (the semantic web). Start now by using schema.org’s microdata wherever and whenever possible.

Kate Ray provides this great video re: web 3.0 w/ transcript, interview bios, etc. Need info on building a site or incorporating semantic web elements into your organic SEO strategies? Contact Joe Wooldridge at joe@joewooldridge.com and stay tuned to www.joewooldridge.com.

Web 3.0 Interviews with:

1. Tim Berners-Lee
2. Clay Shirky
3. Chris Dixon
4. David Weinberger
5. Nova Spivack
6. Jason Shellen
7. Lee Feigenbaum
8. John Hebeler
9. Alon Halevy
10. David Karger
11. Abraham Bernstein

Joe Wooldridge is a digital marketing generalist, currently working on www.myjoecard.com.

via Web 3.0 on Vimeo.

Joseph Wooldridge
Wednesday, October 12th, 2011 @3:44am.
for Joan Severance

Brett Favre and Aaron Rodgers

I knew I would get around to writing about sports, but I just didn’t know when.  The day has come.  ESPN’s Rick Reilly has decided to celebrate Thanksgiving by offering up a TURKEY of a slanted column bashing Brett Favre (http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/7272995/rick-reilly-rodgers-better-favre).  I wrote a response, but I doubt he will post it in his ‘mailbag’.  So, dear reader, here is my take on the ‘piece’.

RE: Favre/Rodgers.

Wow Rick, I disagree with your adulating column.  Rodgers is definitely a great QB, but you need better perspective.  He’s not better than Favre yet, and isn’t likely to ever become greater.  Here are a few reasons:

#1) Video Game Football Rules: I’d like to see how Rodgers would do back in the day when defenses were actually able to defend.  Seriously, today’s rules are so pro-offense that the game really resembles a video game rather than FOOTBALL.

#2) Iron Man: There is a good chance that Rodgers will never play in half as many games as Favre has.  Much less be able to put together any kind of starting streak that would compare.

#3) Learning From A Legend: You have to give Favre some credit for Rodgers’ successes.  Nothing like having one of the top QB’s of all time to learn from.

#4) Judge Value Correctly: Yes, Rodgers is doing well, but you can’t even begin to say that he is better than Favre overall.  There’s a reason that Favre has three MVP trophies.  Because he was the league’s MOST VALUABLE PLAYER three different years.  When Rodgers has four of those MVP trophies, then you can start squawking about who is better.  You don’t need a calculator to know that 3 > 0.

#5) Respect: Favre is one of the absolute best football players to play the game – EVER.  Not just an all-time great QB.  Say what you want about the retiring/un-retiring routine.  Anyone with half a brain knows that Favre just wanted some rest in the off-season in his later years.  He earned it.  I’m not sure if there has ever been someone who loved to play football more than Favre.  He wasn’t retiring each year.

#6) Clutch Play: Ask any NFL coach who they would rather have come in from scratch, walk in off the street, step in and play a big-time game with no prep time?  I’m pretty sure every one of them would pick Favre – even an OLD Favre.

Sorry about your man-crush on Rodgers.  I’m not saying Aaron Rodgers isn’t an excellent QB, but you do both him and Brett Favre a disservice by writing such a poor excuse for a column.  Time will tell.  Rodgers may not even last very long – even playing under the benefit of the new pro-offense, “don’t touch the quarterback” Flag Football rules.

- Joe

What will we do here at the end of the World
Where the water splashes
The gulls cry and memories wash through?
To sing, smile and cry along . . .
Yes, let’s go.

New Worlds await with new songs, laughter,
Love, loss, pain and ecstasy.
Bring on the new barrage
Let it relieve the nagging of the past.
Yes, let’s go.

Dashing into the waves
Running like valiant steeds
Break again and again
Collision, immersion, thrown back on the beach.
Yes, let’s go.

Joseph Wooldridge
Wednesday, September 21st, 2011 @1:55am.

Jack sat in the blue plastic chair, one of a long row of ugly, uncomfortable, blue plastic chairs. Occasionally, Jack squirmed in the chair in an effort to make himself a little more comfortable, as his eyes strained at the video screen.

“Shit, shit, and more shit.” Jack said, switching through the channels.

After checking his watch, Jack realized that his lunch break was nearing an end. Jack stood up, clicked off the television, and exited Gate 99, on his way back to the Purgatory Judgment Omniplex, Jack stopped into the men’s room to have a smoke. Jack looked at his reflection framed with the curling cigarette smoke, and he still could not get over it.

“I guess I look pretty good, don’t I,” said Jack, smiling at his reflection, “not bad for being dead.”

Jack further studied his reflection. He really enjoyed the fact that the scar on his face was gone, one of the only things that he considered to be good about the afterlife, no blemishes. Noticing the scruff on his face, Jack grabbed the wall-mounted electric razor, and began to shave. The razor was a Norelco 950. How Norelco got the contract to supply razors here was a mystery to Jack, but here they were nonetheless. Checking his watch again, Jack finished shaving, put out his cigarette and left the restroom.

The majority of the residents of Purgatory worked in the judgment division, as did Jack, Work consisted of sitting in a small office cubicle, about the size afforded to temps at large firms, and scrolling via computer monitor through both the good deeds and the sins of those individuals who appeared close to the borderline of going to the bad place. Once familiar with the good and bad elements of each individual’s case, each ‘judge’ is to offer his judgment on the matter with supporting argument, and include a proposed judgment.

As a rule of thumb, people were given the benefit of the doubt, although no one was allowed to pass judgment on their friends or loved ones, thus preventing preferential treatment.

Jack arrived at his cubicle, slid his “Purgatory Express” card through the time creditor, and resumed his work. The work wasn’t without its rewards. Jack was often touched by good deeds, as he was both Intrigued and disgusted by the bad ones. During the first few months on the job, Jack was continually surprised by the things that people do. The sex and violence that he saw at his job made the stuff on television lame by comparison.

Another perk to working in the judgment division was that they were afforded to peek into the near futures of each individual, so that their judgment files would he ready if they died unexpectedly. Initially, this confused Jack, because he did not understand how something unexpected could happen if they could already see into the future. After a chat with his supervisor, Jack figured out that there was a basic plan for Earthly events, but that sometimes they are altered for various reasons. After work, Jack went down to the entertainment district. The neon sign above the nightclub read “ALEXANDER’S BABYLONIAN BAR & GRILL” Alexander’s was Jack’s favorite haunt, as he often met his co-workers there to relax, enjoy a drink, and discuss their day’s caseload.

Although it had been nearly two years that Jack had spent in purgatory, he was reminded of his death every time he entered Alexander’s.

Jack joined the crowd that was entering the bar, as he had done many times before. Just inside the entrance were three teller machines. Jack reached into his wallet, pulled out his Purgatory Express card, and inserted it into the machine.

The Purgatory Express card enabled the user to check the status of their account, credit it, or charge something to it. Rather than having a monetary balance in one’s account, the account that Purgatory Express offers deals with the length of one’s stay. As each day goes by, one day is subtracted from each individual’s account. When a person finally reaches an even balance, they are issued a ticket on the next flight out. The problem that many run into is the fact that each time the person indulges in an earthly vice, their stay in purgatory is prolonged. For example, a pack of cigarettes or cover charge at Alexander’s will extend one’s visit for another day.

The teller machine notified Jack that he still had accommodations in Purgatory for another 287 days. After making two more entries, the total went up to 289 days. The machine then dispensed one pack of Marlboro cigarettes and a rainbow-colored arm band. He finished his transaction, frowned at the new total, and retrieved his card.

Jack put on the arm band, put his wallet back in his pocket, and went straight to the bar. Jack winced as he glanced over at Elvis on the stage, crooning “Love Me Tender” as he had done on a hundred nights before. He had previously been the house act at a different establishment in the entertainment district, but had gotten kicked out after getting drunk and shooting all of the television sets. Somehow he had worked out a permanent gig at Alexander’s, sans pistol. Every night that he came in there and saw Elvis made him further inclined to frequent a different club.

“Hi Jack, how are you?”

“Just lovely Ray,” said Jack, “scotch and water, please.”

“You sure you don’t want to try our shot, the Nancy Kerrigan Knee Slammer?” said Ray.

“No thanks, just a scotch and water,”

In addition to the drink, Jack bought a copy of the Dallas Morning News so as to keep up with events in his old hometown. The Dallas Cowboys had just won their second Super Bowl In a row, and he had not been there to see either one of them. Jack’s thoughts wandered back to the night of his death. The memory was fuzzy. He had been at a sports bar watching a Cowboys game. Jack remembered being pissed off because the cowboys had lost, and he had lost a lot of money betting on the game. In an effort to soothe his mood, Jack decided to have a few more drinks. After leaving the bar, Jack sensed that he was heavily intoxicated. His vision was poor, and his reflexes were very poor. The road became treacherous, and Jack didn’t remember much more, except that it was hard to stay on the road.

“Fucking drunk drivers, huh, Ray?”

“Yeah Jack, whatever,” Ray said. “Need another?”

“Sure.”

~*~

After not making the curve, Jack remembered being jostled around, then darkness, then waking up in a crowded passenger airliner.

“Can I get you something to drink, sir?” asked the stewardess. “What?” said Jack.

“Would you like a drink?” repeated the stewardess. “What the fuck is this, and where the hell am I at?” asked Jack. “Not in Hell, sir,” said the stewardess. “Perhaps you should read your pamphlet, it may explain things.”

Jack looked down at the silver and blue pamphlet in his lap, it was entitled: Purgatory: Living in the Hereafter. Checking his surroundings, Jack realized that he was dressed for the occasion; He was dressed in a regal black tuxedo, with a blue cummerbund and tails. Looking through his pockets, Jack found his wallet, his engraved Zippo lighter, and a new pack of cigarettes. Jack would have felt extremely dapper considering his attire, but the few handfuls of dirt that had been thrown on him ruined the effect.

Jack brushed at the dirt on his sleeves, pocketed the pamphlet, and ordered coffee. The plane arrived at Purgatory International Airport soon after he had finished his second cup. As Jack and the others filed off the plane and into the jetway, a flight attendant greeted each person with a friendly smile and a handbill.

“Welcome to Purgatory, we hope your stay is enlightening.”

Jack paused for a moment, looked at the flier, and then decided to move along. The flier was for a free evening at “ALEXANDER’S BABYLONIAN BAR AND GRILL.” Jack pocketed the coupon, lit up a smoke, and headed off in the direction of the bar.

~*~

Jack got his drink, and proceeded to the table where a few of his co­workers were gathered, and sat down in the seat that his friend had saved for him. Jack noticed that his friend was looking troubled.

“What can I do for you, Stan?” asked Jack.

“Jack, I’ve got some bad news for you.” said Stan. “It’s about your brother.”

Jack and Stan had an arrangement that they would do their best to keep each other informed about the lives of their respective family and friends. Although such an arrangement was against the rules, many people shared the information anyway.

“What’s the deal, has he gotten himself in trouble again?”

“Big trouble,” said Stan. “I’ve got to give a final review on him, because he will be dead in two days.”

Jack stared into his drink as he digested the news. Of his entire family, he was mainly concerned with his younger brother, Marc. Jack felt bad that Marc was going to die, but it seemed to him that it would be nice to see his brother again.

“Do you know which flight he’s coming in on?”

“That’s the bad part, Jack.” said Ray. “It doesn’t look like he’ll be coming here.”

~*~

Somehow Jack convinced Stan to show him the file on his brother. Currently, his brother was on track for an extended vacation in Purgatory, but the glimpse of the next two days revealed that his brother was to be shot to death by a police officer. Apparently, the officer had witnessed him committing arson, and had shot him when he had refused the order to freeze.

By researching the file, Jack learned that his brother had set fire to his warehouse property in the downtown district in order to collect the insurance money. However, unbeknownst to Marc, there were a group of five homeless people who had been living in the back of the warehouse, who were to perish in the fire. It was the incidental deaths which were to weigh heavily against Marc.

“Stan, there has to be something we can do. He had no idea that those people were in there.”

“Jack, I can’t interfere because I am one of the ones judging his file, and you can’t go and save his life because he is your brother, and they will find out how you obtained access to his file, and we’ll both be in very deep shit.”

“Look, help me get down there somehow. You’ve been here for a long time, and if anybody knows how to pull this off, I’m sure you would know who it is.” said Jack.

“Hold on, Jack. You don’t want to mess with this. There is a great penalty for messing with the given plan. Besides, there is a slim chance that he will be given the benefit of the doubt in this.” said Stan.

“It’s worth it to me, Stan.’ said Jack. “I’ll take the chance, and whatever punishment, because I know I could never be happy if he were condemned to such a horrible existence.”

“I’ll try to help you, Jack. I really will. You’ve just got to understand that you can’t directly influence with your brother’s fate, and that it is 99.9% likely that you will be found out. You know that the Big Guy very rarely misses things.”

~*~

Closing time at Alexander’s found Stan and Jack at the back of the bar. The other patrons had left, and Ray was locking up, and turning out the lights. Elvis stretched out a couch on the back wall with a bottle of Kentucky Gentleman and a peanut-butter sandwich.

Stan had explained the situation to Ray, who had sent note to Alexander himself to explain the situation, and Jack’s request.

Ray finished up, went to the back room, and returned a short while later.

“Alexander will see you now.” said Ray.

Ray led them through the back room, down a few flights of stairs, and finally into a dim smoky office. Jack was surprised to find that this was THE Alexander – Alexander the Great – whom was now seated with his feet on his desk, chomping on a Cuban cigar. He did not appear to be much older than Jack, yet had existed over two thousand years longer.

“Welcome,” he said, “How do you like the place?”

Jack and Stan stood in amazement, unable to speak. Finally, Jack found the words with which to explain the nature of his request,

“Surely you are able to do this, considering that the supplies for your establishment come from Earth.” said Jack.

Alexander laughed for a moment, “What is it worth to you?”

“I’ll do anything you ask, just get me there.” replied Jack.

“If I grant you this boon, then you must stay here and work for me for the next 1,000 years, or until Armageddon, Whichever comes first. Agreed?”

“Fine” said Jack.

“Although it’s not as easy as it once was,” said Alexander. “I used to enjoy greater freedom to return to Earth for supplies for my establishment. But recently they have become more strict even with me about who may make the trip in order to restock the shelves.”

“What does all this mean?” replied Jack,

“It means,” said Alexander, “that the only person I can send for supplies these days is Elvis!”

~*~

Jack ducked as he boarded the Earth-bound flight. Everything looked funny through his thick rose-colored sunglasses, and he felt like the world’s biggest asshole wearing that white sequined jumpsuit, and those fake pork-chop sideburns. The plane landed in Las Vegas of all places, where Jack caught a connecting flight to Dallas.

According to instructions, he was to go nowhere near his brother, much less anyone else that he knew.

The flight landed in Dallas, and Jack exited the flight. The plane ride had been bad enough, what with the people craning their necks, and the old lady sitting next to him who happened to be a big Elvis fan, but the people in the Dallas airport snickered and laughed as he strode by. Although he didn’t like being the recipient of so much attention, he realized that there was one good thing about his costume; he had no problem getting a cab.

Jack arrived at the warehouse with little time to spare. Soon enough he found the door that the homeless people had forced open. When he found them in the back, he understood why they had been unable to get out. All five homeless men were passed out in their respective comforts, with their favorite bottles of cheap wine held close to their bodies. For a moment, Jack figured that they might be better off dead, and then he commenced dragging them out of the place one at a time.

As soon as he had dragged the last one out, Jack ran from the building in the opposite direction to where he had instructed the cab driver to wait. As badly as he wanted to go to warn his brother, he realized that it was too late as he saw the flames licking skyward from the far side of the warehouse.

The shots that he heard sounded distant, and he heard no cry for help. The cab driver stared at him as he jumped in the back seat of the taxi. Jack realized he was crying, “Just drive man.”

Copyright © 1994-2012, Joseph Wooldridge

It follows that I have developed many strong, long-term relationships with Kansas City area small business owners as a consumer as well. In a world that has scores of ‘Daily Deals’, limited-time specials and coupon mailers impacting B2C industries, I have been lucky enough to have developed a relationship with an auto repair shop – and more importantly – my CAR developed a relationship with them as well.

Today’s blog post highlights the importance of finding a quality automotive repair shop (in this case, Smith Specialty Automotive) and developing a relationship with them. Instead of browsing for automotive deals at a myriad of different repair shops, I started getting to know Dave, Keith, Tom, Kellee and the rest of the crew at Smith Specialty.

I am proud to drive an older (paid for) car and I have been fortunate to realize the long-term savings and cost-benefits of having a consistently-serviced and maintained auto. Without that relationship, I think my car would have died a few years ago. These guys have taken great care of my car, have been consistent in maintaining it – and there is no doubt in my mind that quality service and maintenance by a quality auto repair shop has saved me a bundle AND extended the life of my car.  BOO-YAH!

So Dave, this post goes out to you (and Smith Specialty Automotive).

Dear reader, if you are interested in experiencing quality automotive repair on a consistent basis by highly trained and experienced professionals (and the overall cost benefits and extended life of your car), then I recommend calling Dave Smith at Smith Specialty Automotive.  His phone number is (913) 393-0700, or contact him by email: smithspecialty@sbcglobal.net.

If you mention this blog post when you take your car in for service and repair at Smith Specialty Automotive, Dave will give you a $20 ‘repeat customer’ coupon that you can use on your car’s second visit.  After two visits to Smith Specialty Automotive, I believe you will find a ‘home’ for your car – and take the mystery and guessing out of maintaining your car.

Angel exuding Glorious Light

A Golden Age is coming
For me, for you – for us.
Gone are bad things and bad ways,
Bad habits are miles back.

Can’t you hear the ringing?
In your ears – Angels singing
Praise upon praise of effervescent Glory
Coming this way now.

The future’s bright sun rises up the road
Meeting our shining eyes and bright faces
Expectant we are – as all is found
All is Saved, Heaven! This way!

Oh don’t you dare think you’re dreaming child,
It is served up here and there,
All planes and all lanes, panes and facets
Providence rolling for the World.

Joe Wooldridge
Friday, July 8th, 2011 at 3:54am.