NFL Picks, Week 16: Cowboys beat Redskins, Underwater Knife Fight in Detroit

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Picking the winners and losers of week 16 in the NFL.

NFL week 16, 2013 SeasonLast Week: 9-7.  Season: 87-59-1 (59.59%).

Mid-December football in the NFL is upon us.

What’s old is new again, except for some of it which is now really, really old (insert Tony Romo December Choke comment or 4th Quarter Interception joke here).

Some highlights:

  1. The Chiefs are now rocking on offense (101 points in the last two games) and have the best turnover ratio in the NFL. NOBODY will want to see these guys in the playoffs.
  2. Peyton Manning’s arm is looking very weak and tired. Perhaps it is everything else adding up – the bumps and bruises – but the velocity is WAY down on his throws.  Eek for Denver fans,
  3. Chicago is a dangerous team with two quarterbacks (which may cover up for one lousy defense).
  4. Could it be a Seattle-Kansas City Super Bowl come February 2, 2014?

Grab your Cheeseheads and Machineheads, here we go:

Sunday, December 22

Indianapolis Colts (9-5) at Kansas City Chiefs (11-3)
Kickoff: 12:00pm CST on (CBS)
Odds: Chiefs -7, 45 O/U
A marginalized Colts team pays a visit to Arrowhead in late December to face a Chiefs team that is on a roll. I pity the fool.
Chiefs 42, Colts 35

Miami Dolphins (8-6) at Buffalo Bills (5-9)
Kickoff: 12:00pm CST on (CBS)
Odds: Dolphins -2.5, 42.5 O/U
A tough Miami team leaves the sunny confines of South Florida to visit Buffalo, NY and play the QB-challenged Bills in the elements. I think the Dolphins steal a close one but I’m not very confident in the pick.
Dolphins 24, Bills 21

Cleveland Browns (4-10) at New York Jets (6-8)
Kickoff: 12:00pm CST on (CBS)
Odds: Jets -2.5, 40.5 O/U
Getcha Pepto Bismol. A much-maligned Cleveland team (which is to say, a Cleveland team) visits NYC to play the J-E-T-S. Why does the better team have the worse record? Vive le butt-fumble.
Browns 28, Jets 20

Tennessee Titans (5-9) at Jacksonville Jaguars (4-10)
Kickoff: 12:00pm CST on (CBS)
Odds: Titans -5, 44 O/U
Call it in the air? Yes, I know the Titans are favored but the Jaguars will want this more. I can just see Chad Henne throwing for 423 yards.
Jaguars 34, Titans 26

Denver Broncos (11-3) at Houston Texans (2-12)
Kickoff: 12:00pm CST on (CBS)
Odds: Broncos -10, 53 O/U
Evidence of opposites attracting. Denver wins, but not by more than the 10 point spread.
Broncos 27, Texans 20

Dallas Cowboys (7-7) at Washington Redskins (3-11)
Kickoff: 12:00pm CST on (FOX)
Odds: Cowboys -2.5, 53.5 O/U
Even an ugly rendition of this classic rivalry is cause celebre. As much as Kirk Cousins is a very serviceable QB, the ‘skins are out-manned against Dallas. The Cowboys also are vying for a postseason appearance.
Cowboys 38, Redskins 13

Minnesota Vikings (4-9-1) at Cincinnati Bengals (9-5)
Kickoff: 12:00pm CST on (FOX)
Odds: Bengals -8.5, 47.5 O/U
Cincinnati has too much on the line to lose this game – at home at least. A spoiler-minded Vikings team could quite conceivably roll into Cincy and blast the Bengals, but I’m not sure that Matt Cassel can throw for more than 400 yards for two weeks in a row. Nay.
Bengals 30, Vikings 27

Tampa Bay Buccaneers (4-10) at St. Louis Rams (6-8)
Kickoff: 12:00pm CST on (FOX)
Odds: Rams -4, 43 O/U
Jeff Fisher has his team playing confident, aggressive football. I could see the Rams overlooking the Bucs this week if they were a playoff contender this year, but they are not. It is a pride game and a chance to build momentum going into the off-season.
Rams 31, Buccaneers 21

New Orleans Saints (10-4) at Carolina Panthers (10-4)
Kickoff: 12:00pm CST on (FOX)
Odds: Panthers -3, 46.5 O/U
They’re the Saints at home and the ‘Aints on the road. Guess which one shows up in Carolina this weekend? Lest we forget, the Panthers field a strong defensive unit and a Colossus at quarterback.
Panthers 35, Saints 31

New York Giants (5-9) at Detroit Lions (7-7)
Kickoff: 3:05pm CST on (FOX)
Odds: Lions -9.5, 49 O/U
This match-up is like an underwater knife fight, in the dark. I’ve lost faith in the Giants this season – they’ve just too many holes to plug. Eli can’t cover up the inadequacies of the team. On the other side, Detroit can’t get out of their own way. Getcha Pepto Bismol back out. Ouch.
Lions 14, Giants 13

Arizona Cardinals (9-5) at Seattle Seahawks (12-2)
Kickoff: 3:05pm CST on (FOX)
Odds: Seahawks -10.5, 43 O/U
If Carson Palmer leads the Cardinals to a victory in Seattle this weekend, I’ll eat my own foot (well, not really).
Seahawks 28, Cardinals 21

New England Patriots (10-4) at Baltimore Ravens (8-6)
Kickoff: 3:25pm CST on (CBS)
Odds: Ravens -2.5, 45 O/U
Forget the rest, this is the “Hey, check out what a REAL elite quarterback looks like!” game for these teams. I suspect Tom Brady will end up screaming at someone on the sidelines (Josh McDaniels?), but the Patriots will leave Baltimore with another “W” on their record.
Patriots 30, Ravens 28

Pittsburgh Steelers (6-8) at Green Bay Packers (7-6-1)
Kickoff: 3:25pm CST on (CBS)
Odds: Pick’em
Aaron ‘Brittle’ Rodgers still is out this week. Don’t expect Matt Flynn to have that kind of a second half against Dick LeBeau’s defense – even an OLD Dick LeBeau defense.
Steelers 42, Packers 17

Oakland Raiders (4-10) at San Diego Chargers (7-7)
Kickoff: 3:25pm CST on (CBS)
Odds: Chargers -10, 50.5 O/U
San Diego is a tough and talented team that just went into Denver and played flawlessly in a victory over the Broncos. Do I think they will beat the lowly Raiders this week playing at home? Yes I do, even in this crazy world that is the NFL.
Chargers 45, Raiders 21

Chicago Bears (8-6) at Philadelphia Eagles (8-6)
Kickoff: 7:30pm CST on (NBC)
Odds: Eagles -3, 56 O/U
Best game of the week. Two teams within reach of the playoffs. A brutal playing environment. Sounds like Thunderdome, doesn’t it? Who run Bartertown?!? Say it!
Bears 41, Eagles 31

Monday, December 23

Atlanta Falcons (4-10) at San Francisco 49ers (10-4)
Kickoff: 7:40pm (CST) on (ESPN)
Odds: 49ers -13, 45 O/U
This game falls under the title “There’s only so much Tony Gonzalez can do”. Tony’s great – the greatest TE of all time. He’ll probably go for 200+ receiving yards in this one and 2 or 3 touchdowns . . . but it is still not enough. The Giants should have picked him up the year before he went to Atlanta, they would have another Vince Lombardi trophy in their case if they had done so.
49ers 49, Falcons 41

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